can u get pink eye on your cock?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
