just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Pooping to opera.
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