dude i'm inner monologue high
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize