Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
