also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
