OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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