These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize