I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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