Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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