Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
