You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
