We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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