i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The feeling are messing with the penis
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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