Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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