ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
