You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
