ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
