The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
