So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
