the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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