ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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