Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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