She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
