so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How's work?
Spinning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
