thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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