i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
