I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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