you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
