Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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