Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
