in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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