The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
