can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
