I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
