no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
