Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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