Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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