If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
