She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
