If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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