kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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