the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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