Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
