It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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