Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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