did you get engaged???
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I haven't been this sober since birth.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
