Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
