Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
