it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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