great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize