You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
