Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
