Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon

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(941): View more from Florida

thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis

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(818): View more from California

Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah

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(475): View more from Connecticut

And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.

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