okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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