Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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