She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize