Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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