I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
