I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
