why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
