I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
