Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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