He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
