I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
