we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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